What to Expect When You’re Expecting (A Big Dream)

by Stacey on August 23, 2010

Babies take a lot of time and money.

I know, that’s a news flash, right? But I really had no idea that my big dream – a business – would take so much of my time and money when I started.

My whole life I’ve been a care provider and never received a bit of business education. Over the last year I’ve spent a lot of time and money giving myself that education.

When I started my business, my husband and I looked at our savings and decided that I could use $5K of it to launch my business. When that was gone, the business would either be profitable or I would give it up.

Oh, that makes me laugh now to think of it! I’ve spent a little over $20K and countless hours in my business and it is not “profitable” in any sense other than that it brings me great joy. The plan now is that I keep my business going with current income – from coaching, but mostly from my nurse-midwife salary – and stop fixing upon a date by which it must be profitable.

I had an epiphany a while back: I remembered that I had spent tens of thousands of dollars and countless hours to become a nurse-midwife, never doubting that I would find meaningful and lucrative work. So why, I asked myself, would I doubt this venture would have a similar outcome?

Note, too, that the most money I’ve spent in my business has been related to coaching and training ($10K at last glance) and I believe this investment makes as much sense as the investment I made to become a nurse-midwife.

Your baby doesn’t know about “normal” growth and development.

When my son was an infant, my husband and I both would check the growth and development charts in the back of the baby books again and again. We made ourselves nutty with thoughts like, “Hey! He hasn’t developed the ’pincer’ grasp yet!”

Come to think of it, we still have thoughts like that about our 5-year-old, but we’re much more relaxed about it. For example, we answer the question “How do we know he’s not supposed to sleep by himself through the night yet?” with “Because he’s not, that’s how.”

By the same token, when I ask myself, “How can I be sure my business is not supposed to make more money yet?” – I know the answer: Because it’s not, that’s how. That’s not to say that I’m not trying to do everything I can to create the conditions for the optimal growth and development of my business. It’s just that I’m not going to sweat it if it doesn’t hit any hoped-for markers of “success.”

Focus on the Learning Opportunities.

I made a lot of mistakes as a new mama, and I’m making a lot of mistakes as a new entrepreneur. I wrote a previous article about there’s no success like failure – and it just gets easier and easier to accept that “failure” is necessary for success.

It’s like Thomas Edison said, “I haven’t failed. I’ve found 10,000 ways that didn’t work.” If I thought something would work and it didn’t even after I gave it my best shot, well then, I’ve always learned something of value.

And I’ve also always found that I’m much closer to success after failing than I was before the (so-called) failure. Believe me, if you’re a new mama, you really need to cultivate the feeling that there are no mistakes, just more learning opportunities. If you’re starting your own business, you should probably cultivate that feeling too. That is, if you want to sleep at night.

Find Your Why.

I’ve mentioned this before, but if you are feeling that your dream – say, for a profitable business – is elusive and unattainable, it’s vital to focus on why you created your business.

I often remind myself that I created my business in order to help more people give birth to a life they love. And when I see that I am doing that, the specter of money diminishes considerably. This thought alone has gotten me through many rough patches.

Get help.

You know the saying “It takes a village to raise a child”? Ditto that for a business. I’ll never forget feeling at the end of my rope with the care and demands of my new baby. When I got even just a couple of hours of help, it made an enormous difference in my ability to cope and enjoy my new, expanded family.

When I started my business one of the first things I did was hire an assistant for about 4 hours a week. Now I have 3 assistants, a business coach, and a membership in an online marketing forum – all for a business that still isn’t profitable.

But you know what? I wouldn’t enjoy my business without the help, so I don’t even think of going without it. I mean, the best reason for bringing a baby into the world is because you want the joy of having a baby – and when your focus is there, you’re willing and able to make the best of the unanticipated and often undesirable stuff that goes along with one.

Remembering this, I’ve decided to care for my business just like I cared for my baby. And I will continue to do so because it brings me joy. After all, who looks at their baby and says, “When was the last time you helped pay the rent?”

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