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I met Lorraine on Twitter and she asked if I would be interested in writing a guest post for “The Survival Guide for Rookie Moms” website. I initially declined thinking that the site, like the book of the same name she co-authored with Erica Wells, was intended only for parents of newborns.
She told me that the website is really much more, and after I explored a little further I found that it is indeed much more – it is a wonderful resource, filled with heartfelt support and encouragement for all parents. You can read my guest post here.
Again, I was so impressed with her and her work that I saw she would be a wonderful person to interview for my forthcoming Multi-Passion Mama Project. What came out of that interview was interesting, illuminating and amusing. The essay below tells more about that story. You can also read more about Lorraine and The Survival Guide for Rookie Moms below.
I was invited by my new on-line friend Stacey Curnow to be interviewed for her “Multi-passion Mamas” project. When I got the email invite my first thought was “This lady only knows me through twitter – the virtual me – she doesn’t know me.” Because if she did know me, she’d know I’m totally useless at interviews, I’m not a passionate personality and far from having a multitude of passions I have one obsession.
The email listed sample interview questions like:
- Do you schedule time for your various passions?
- What do you do to snap yourself out of an activity that you know is not helping (whether time on social media or an argument/funk with your husband or kid)?
- When you feel overwhelmed, what do you do to get back on track?
- Do you ever wake at 2 am worried about something? What is it usually? What do you do to address the fear and get back to sleep?
- Where do you want to “be” next year?
These topics threw me into a panic – I couldn’t talk ‘passionately’ about my work. How could I give advice about how to best schedule your day, get out of a bad spot, get back to sleep at 2am when I can’t do any of these things myself. In fact the only question I had a ready answer to was “What are your challenges?” I could fill half an hour whinging about my challenges for sure. I initially declined the interview. I was honest with Stacey and sited the above reasons for my reluctance, but she wouldn’t let me back out.
Stacey said she wasn’t after tips and tricks and the perfect multi-tasking mom. She wanted to hear my story alongside many other multi-passion mamas. She assured me it would be fine. And it was. The line was recorded, but Stacey made me feel at ease and it helped to know there was no live audience. It was a far cry from the hideous ordeal that was my first attempt at a radio interview (note: I’ve never been invited to do a second one.) Despite having only communicated with Stacey briefly in 140 word chunks on Twitter and in a few emails when she appeared on our site as a guest blogger, it was just like talking to a friend.
In the end Stacey ‘chatted’ more than asked the specific sample questions she had sent me, but I’d thought long and hard about what my responses would have been. I’d had time to think over what my challenges were and ways I might address them. I’d admitted to myself that I wasn’t good at scheduling, that I was obsessed with my work and mostly that I am over critical about myself. When I put down the phone at the end of the interview I felt fabulous. It had been such good therapy to get it all off my chest, admit my failings and get reassurance that in fact I was doing fine.
I hope that my honest responses will help other moms struggling with similar issues. On the surface we’re vibrant, successful and have all our ducks in a row but underneath we’re ‘paddling like mad’ as a fellow mummy blogger described so well.
This experience taught me that the worst thing we can do is to bottle up our emotions and worries. In The Survival Guide for Rookie Moms we advise new moms to get out and socialize with other moms, yet it’s something I haven’t been doing much for a while now. I’ve been isolating myself with my worries and challenges. It helps to chat. It helps to work through problems with a comrade. It helps to share.
Lorraine Regel was born and raised in Essex, England. After a fairly unremarkable thirty years of schooling, art college and a career in banking, she changed gear in 1999 and in a busy decade moved to Vancouver, Canada, got engaged in Alaska, was married in Las Vegas, had two babies and, while getting to grips with her new career as stay-at-home-mum, co-wrote the parenting book The Survival Guide for Rookie Moms. In 2009 she moved back to her native England to be nearer family and friends. She now attempts to juggle working from home promoting The Survival Guide for Rookie Moms with taking care of her 2 children. You can find more of her writing at the Survival Guide for Rookie Moms blog, www.survival4moms.com.
