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Note from Stacey: I met Tracy years ago through a mutual friend and we connected quite a bit over the lovely Consensual Living forum when my son was just a baby. When I considered creating a coaching practice I looked to her Transforming Family as a model. I now realize Tracy was the first heart-centered entrepreneur (also known as a mom-preneur) I ever met! Read more about Tracy below!
Some of us wake up each morning feeling very connected to our true selves, while others might be wishing to have a deeper connection. My hope is for everyone go deeper. If you already feel well-connected to your authentic self, maybe you can think of a place that still needs a little deepening. For example, you might tend to lose your authentic voice when talking with your parents or family of origin, with your boss at work or when you are confronted?
When we are born, we are whole and beautiful. Sometimes, as time goes on, we start to lose ourselves piece by piece to society, to our parents, to school and friends. We shape ourselves to be what they want us to be, instead of what we truly are.
So where do you find this original, authentic self? It’s not something that’s foreign to us, but something that was always there and got submerged under layers of protection and conditioning. It would be great if we could all gradually strip away those layers and find the treasure that has always awaited us underneath.
Here’s a quick exercise that might help you strip away some of those layers. Of course, this isn’t something you have to do, and certainly isn’t something you have to do right. Just grab a notebook, paper or journal and write some things down – often you’ll gain some great insight from this process.
~ What did you enjoy doing as a child? How did you envision your life as an adult?
~ What are your values? What really matters to you? Look at each item carefully. Where did it come from? If you learned it from your parents, is it still something that you would choose for yourself? If so, restate it in a way that makes it your own. If not, replace it with something that’s meaningful to you now.
~ What’s fun for you now? What would you like to do, but avoid because you don’t think you’d be very good at it or you’re afraid of what people will say?
~ What topics are you drawn to? If you were going to subscribe to a bunch of magazines, which ones would you choose?
~ What do you do because you know it will please other people? How would you change that if you only had to please yourself? This may be a tough one because after many years of sacrificing your own desires for those of parents, spouses, friends, etc., your own desires may be a distant memory. If this is the case, be patient with yourself and keep looking. Growth has often been compared to peeling the layers of the onion. Keep peeling.
~ Be aware of your body. What messages is it giving you? Which activities allow your body to feel relaxed and open? Which ones make you tense or uncomfortable? How can you stop or change the stimulus that causes your stress?
~ As you come more in touch with what’s truly meaningful to you, start to make a place for it in your life. Take time to do things that are pleasurable. Rethink your priorities. Begin to eliminate things that you do solely because you think you should. Certainly you have responsibilities to yourself and your family, but a lot of our obligations tend to be self-imposed and you can negotiate some of the other ones with your loved ones.
~ Start to bring your new authenticity into your creativity. When you’re faced with a challenge at home or at work, instead of resorting to your usual options, try brainstorming some new ones. How would the person you are now (or the person you want to be) handle this? Include some options that seem outrageous, and let that outrageousness expand the boundaries of your usual thinking.
Reconnecting with your authentic self might be tough - it will happen in steps, so be patient with yourself. Enjoy the hunt and revel in each new insight!
Tracy Liebmann is a Personal Development Coach for Mothers. She believes deeply that connection and communication is key to deep, loving relationships. She mothers her two teenage children from the heart, knowing that is where the truth lies when it comes to parenting. Her coaching clients describe her using words like; compassionate, caring, understanding, patient, insightful and intuitive. She lives in Charleston, SC with her husband of 19 years, her 2 children and many interesting pets. She enjoys being with her family, cooking, anything outdoors and being with her horses! You can learn more about her and her coaching practice at www.transformingfamily.com. Find out about her next program that starts with a FREE call on Wednesday, July 21st at >>>7 STEPS TO EMPOWER EVERY MOTHER<<<.
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