The Joy Factory with Ruthie Yarme.
Last year, Isabella asked to make a lap quilt with me. We had a stack of fat quarters from miscellaneous projects, but she picked out a design that necessitated many, many more. We walked down the street to our favorite fabric store to pick out the rest.
I told her to pick out about 20 different fabric squares. “Just look for colors that go together,” I counseled. She replied, “Mom, I don’t want them to go together. I want it wild”. After a moment (during which I almost opened my mouth to dissuade her), I took a breath of release. I had found another unexpected opportunity to let go of my own agenda and quiet my inner critic.
Isabella gleefully picked out black-and-white stick figures, multi-colored jellybeans, earth-toned paisleys, brilliant reds, bright greens, muted browns, mustard yellows, and a sweet, vintage-looking cream with delicate flowers. Smiling at my inner critic, I told her to enjoy her well-earned rest. She shook her head, muttering something about, “Well, I have no idea how you think this is going to turn out, but thank goodness I am not involved.”
At home, we cut and pinned, laid out fabric and sewed. As we put the quilt together (to my very great surprise), I started to really like it. I thought that some brown fabric might even pull it all together; Isabella agreed.
We went back to the fabric store to buy fabric for the back; the search for the perfect brown was on. That is…until Isabella saw the turquoise flannel with skulls. I tried my best to imagine how this would possibly work and just had to shake my head. Laughing at myself, I told my inner critic to go back to her vacation. It was clear that letting go was all that I could do.
We took the turquoise/skull fabric home and put it all together. I put in the last stitch and smiled again. My letting to paid off; the quilt was simply beautiful…vibrant, inventive, fun, funny, self-assured and joyful. Just like Isabella!! My inner critic decided that she should take a holiday more often!
Ruthie Yarme is a homeschooling mom, living in Santa Cruz, CA. She delights in walking among the towering Redwoods; watching her dog, Ginger, romp along the Pacific; listening to her husband play music of all styles; and pretty much doing anything with her two amazing gurus, Isabella and Andre. You can find Ruthie’s essays here every Thursday.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh my gosh, I laughed out loud when I read the line from your inner critic “…thank goodness I’m not involved.” And thank goodness indeed! Thanks so much for illustrating SO well why it’s important to send our inner critics on holiday more often!
What a great story! And silencing that inner critic is something we can all learn to do more often!! This is such a beautiful tangible result of what can happen when you do!!
Hi Kathy! Thanks so much for your comment and letting us know the message resonated with you, too! And yes, I don’t think we can hear it enough either!
Ruthie, beautiful insight for any age! You are an amazing woman! xo KJ
Love the story, Ruthie. Reminds of one spring years ago, planting flowers in pots with Patrick. I wish I gave my inner critic the afternoon off that day! I’m reminded that there will be lots more opportunities to do so–thank you!
What an amazing example of the beauty that can be realized when we “let go” of our need for “perfection” (whateve that is!!!). Thanks for sharing your insights. From the looks of things you and Isabella could make a killing on eBay with those colorful quilts!
Thank you, everyone, for taking the time and energy to comment on this post. I have loved having this space to share snippets of my life…and love seeing old friends, new friends and kind strangers come together to read those snippets. It makes my day and fills me with such gratitude! Thank you, Stacey, for inviting me to be a part of your creation. I LOVE it!
Ditto to all of the above, dear friends!
LOVE IT!!! Thank you for sharing!
Sweet story I love what you and Isabellla have created and yes she is obviously a creative spirit, but you are willing one — I find time is often a thief of these rewards, but you are very intentional about making the moment happen, capturing their cause (resisting the urge to say no let’s wait until we have time, find the perfect match, color, etc.). Your willing spirit, helps her to feel assured in her vibrant color choices — making a beautiful combination. I’m going to try to not take the inner critic with me today.
Thank you for the reminder
Elaine…for some reason, I have tears welling up in my eyes as I read your words. Maybe because you are one of the most creative spirits I know and so your words on the subject reach straight to my heart…. or maybe because I just love you so much. Thank you for coming here and commenting!
You are amazing! I so would’ve put the kabash on the skulls, but the quilt is sweet and full of what Isabella is drawn to at this moment. My guess is it will be a keepsake that in the future will bring you right back to the day you made it. I did this once with Zach. We were going to cover the floor of his room for a jungle birthday party, so we went to Joanne’s looking for “wild” fabric. All the giant squares he picked out were made up of different colored furry fabric: leopard, bright pick, red, turquoise, gold. I never thought it was beautiful (what does that say about me?!…), but I like thinking about Zach at that time.
Hi Ruth! Thanks so much for your comment!
How wonderful that you were able to find this post a little over a month after it was published and that it reminded you of a sweet memory of your son! And, no, I don’t think all of my son’s “creations” are beautiful either, but I have learned to look at them with “his eyes” and delight in them all the same!
Thanks again for your comment and I hope you will come back soon!