The other day I was in conversation with one of my clients.

“I’m frustrated,” she said. “I thought I would be further along by now. Everyone else is out there doing important things. What’s wrong with me?”

Have you ever felt this way?

Like you “should” know your purpose by now…

Or you “should” be writing (or painting or meditating) more…

Or you “should” be making more money…

Or you “should” be a better parent or spouse or friend…

That’s a lot of “should”-ing!

A good friend of mine calls this “should-ing on yourself,” which always makes me laugh.

Thing is, “should-ing” is no laughing matter. For women, “should-ing” is one of the BIGGEST happiness, peacefulness and manifestation killers out there.

It feels really awful, and every moment spent in the energy of “should” drains you of precious creative resources.

Now, here’s the silver lining in the “shoulds”…

The “shoulds” can actually help you discover what’s TRULY important to you – what I call your Deep Desires.

They also help you take the actions in alignment with your Deep Desires (what I call “aligned action”) that are TRULY required to manifest what you want. (As opposed to, you know, what you “should” do.)

So how do you turn those “shoulds” around?

To get you started, here’s a tip…

The next time you find yourself comparing yourself to others, and going into the “shoulds,” just notice, and stop for a second. Breathe.

Then, get curious about the “should.” One possible question is this: “In this moment, is that REALLY what I want to do or have?”

This is so powerful because we rarely ever challenge the “shoulds” and just take them at face value. But when you get curious, you might even discover that you don’t even WANT what that other person has! Or maybe you do, but it looks a little different.

Or maybe you discover that you DO want what that other person has, and their success is bringing up “shoulds” for you because it’s actually a Deep Desire of your own.

This is an awesome discovery to make, because you can make a NEW choice! Instead of “should”ing, you can say…

… “Yes!! I WANT that!”

Claiming what you want is the first step to CREATING what you want. And you’re going to feel ON FIRE when you do, instead of feeling bad over a “should” that was never yours to begin with.

When you make a decision to be, do or have something in your life, the way for it to be done is ALWAYS there. Always. (The Universal Law of Polarity says that it must be so.)

Once the decision is made, you’re on the path. Moving forward requires choosing to look for and take the next step in alignment with your Deep Desires.

Are you ready to claim what you truly desire? What is it? What’s one step you can take today to put you closer to it? 

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