Stacey

Stacey and Sarah ThomasThat’s a photo of me with my acupuncturist, Sarah Thomas. But calling her a practitioner of acupuncture does not do her justice.

You can read more about her here, but suffice to say that she is a brilliant transformational healer.

Back in October (2014) she asked me what I needed and I said I felt like my Spirit needed to be transplanted into a Bigger Pot. I felt like I was on the cusp of massive growth, but my current “container” was limiting it.

Because Sarah is AMAZING she immediately responded that she knew exactly what I meant and knew exactly what to do.

But if you are scratching your head, wondering what the heck I’m talking about, suffice to say that I knew my fears and doubts were holding me back from achieving my dream of publishing my book.

Read on to see what I mean…

Sarah explained the treatment she’d like to give me but said it would require three sessions over three consecutive months and wondered if I was willing to invest in something that would take that long. I said I was game.

In that case, Sarah said, I should understand that the treatment is called Yin Wei Mai. “Yin Wei Mai,” she went on, “is one of the eight extraordinary meridians. Opening this pathway brings a person into a whole new beginning, like a new chapter of their life.

“It helps them move deeper into their destiny – aka the Bigger Pot – particularly around expressing more of their deepest essence. Like, what they loved as a child, or parts of them that have always been fundamental to who they are at their core.”

Back in October I shared with Sarah that I was working on my book. And I told her about my fears and doubts about my ability to complete it, about whether it would be good enough to attract the interest of an agent and publisher, and about how, when you got right down to it, I doubted whether I was good enough to deliver the goods.

So I went in for all three sessions. And on December 3rd, when we reached the end of the third session, Sarah poised the last needle over my wrist and asked, “Are you sure you’re ready for this? Because if we do this last needle, your book is going to happen. Are you really and truly ready?”

step into your purposeBy then, the treatment had already worked so well that I no longer had ANY doubt that I was going to finish the book (I had, in fact, completed the full book proposal in November), and I felt much more confident that I would attract an agent and publisher.

And even more importantly, I knew—I knewI was without-a-doubt capable of delivering the goods.

So I said,  “YES!! Yes, I’m ready!!” After she inserted that needle I felt joyful, practically ecstatic. NOW I was really and truly ready.

Five days later, I was signed by a top NY literary agent, and 9 days later I was sitting in the office of a senior publisher at Simon and Schuster.

Do you think all of this happening in this time frame is some kind of a crazy coincidence? I sure don’t.

Here’s what I know for sure: Back in October I was paralyzed by doubts and fears that I would be able to finish my book and get it published – and again, all the doubts and fears were REALLY about my feelings of unworthiness.

I looked at other published writers and thought they were better than me: They had to be smarter, more creative and more connected. And they had to have more resources (like time and money) than I had.

Of course, I’ve been in the field of coaching and positive psychology long enough to know that my thoughts were the limiting factors, not reality.

They weren’t reality, because in reality there are no limits.

I know that if I have an idea I believe would help others (which I do believe with my whole heart) then I have a responsibility to get it out into the world.

So, by extension, I have a responsibility to do whatever it takes to turn around my negative thoughts and overcome my false beliefs.

Sarah’s treatment helped me move deeper into my purpose more quickly, but of course it would not have resulted in me acquiring a prestigious agent or getting an audience with a publisher at Simon and Schuster if I hadn’t been so willing to work with my fears and doubts and take determined action in the direction of my dreams.

It is now my great passion to help you, my friend, overcome your fears and doubts, so you can also express your deepest essence (which is really just another way of saying your purpose) and get your great work into the world.

If you’re alive, then that means you have a purpose. Your purpose is to rise to the level of your highest creative possibility, expressing all that you are intellectually, emotionally, psychologically, and physically in order to make the world a better place.

Again, it’s one of my strongest beliefs that you have a responsibility to do this—to rise to that level—so let’s do this together.

Join me for my completely complimentary training, Feed Your Dreams, Not Your Fears: Simple Steps for Harnessing the Power of Fear, TOMORROW, Wednesday, January 28th at 7:30 pm. To find out more and register click here: http://bit.ly/Dreams2015.

(No worries if you can’t make the training live because a recording of the call will be provided to all who register – so just be sure to register now!)

Feed Your Dreams Not Your Fears

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Griffin - trusting your intuitionThat’s a photo of Griffin with the poster he made to run for the one 5th grade class spot for his school’s student class council. And he made it!

There are so many things I love about this story, so I’m going to share in-depth, but first I just want to say that no one thought he was going to win that election.

One of the most polished and accomplished students in his class was also running, and she seemed to have a lock on the council seat.

But Griffin worked very hard to present himself as a strong candidate – writing and re-writing his speech and creating a compelling campaign poster. (He knew he hit on the right strategy with his slogan, “I will fight for your rights at Rainbow” because, in his words, “It has alliteration and it rhymes!”)

On the morning of the election he said, “I’m not worried about the outcome because I know I’ve done my best. I’m proud of myself. Now all I can do is wait.”

It was wonderful to hear him reflect one of my strongest beliefs  – happiness and success come from being committed to doing your best, while not being attached to any particular outcome.

Some of you may remember that Griffin skipped 4th grade and entered 5th grade this year. In fact, it was right at this time last year that he first expressed his desire to skip a year.

It wasn’t my or Doug’s hope or plan for Griffin to skip 4th grade (we were not ready to be parents to a 5th grader!), but we quickly realized that he was committed to his goal, and we supported his decision.

As it happened, the teachers and administrators at his school were not as quick to get on board with his decision. In fact, they opposed it.

They told us it is very rare to “promote” a child within the school (there had only been 3 cases in the school’s 38-year history, and the last had happened many years ago), and there were a lot of reasons for that – mostly related to the fact of a student’s chronological age and corresponding emotional maturity.

Their program supports the development of the child in seven different “domains” (mental, spiritual, emotional, moral/social, physical, natural, and creative) – in different ways in different grades, and they didn’t want Griffin to “skip” a year of that support.

But there was more.

At one meeting Renee, the director of the school, lit a candle and asked Griffin to share a word that would inform our meeting. He said, “Strength. Because I know I’m going to need it to be in the 5th grade next year.”

Renee smiled and said, “You know, there’s another kind of strength. The strength of weathering a disappointment – and if we decide that it’s the best thing for you to continue into 4th grade, will you be okay with that?”

Without missing a beat Griffin said, “Oh, sure. I deal with disappointment all the time. At home this morning I was throwing my favorite ball around and I lost it in the hedge. I was really upset at first, but then I thought, ‘It’s not a big deal. I’m sure I’ll find it later.’ And I knew it would all work out. It always does.”

Of course, I silently cheered that he has a well-developed ability to choose acceptance and faith in the face of an undesirable circumstance, and Renee seemed impressed too.

But Renee had more concerns – that Griffin – who seemed to succeed so easily, would never find school easy again, to which Griffin replied, “That’s fine. I don’t need it to be easy. I like to be challenged.”

(Again, I silently cheered. – And later when we were alone Griffin asked me, “But why does Renee think it’s going to be so hard for me? It still may be easy.” I believe he learned a good lesson about how people will make assumptions, but that doesn’t mean any of it is true in the moment.)

Finally she worried that Griffin – who was seen as a leader in the 3rd grade – would never be seen as a leader by his classmates again, given his age (and comparative immaturity), and his “upstart” status.

She shared that she had seen this happen before and believed strongly that Griffin’s self-concept would be damaged in the event that it happened to him.

As you know, I try not to project any outcomes – especially negative ones – into the future, but when a professional educator I respect said that she feared something my child wanted to do could damage him, it was hard for me to dismiss it.

There was even one point in the months-long decision-making process that one of his teachers said, “I don’t understand why Griffin should be allowed to make this decision. He has no idea what the consequences of it will be. As adults, we have the benefit of training and experience, and we should decide.”

And that’s when I felt a surge of clarity. No, I didn’t know what the future held for my son. I don’t even believe I can ever know what’s “best” for him.

But what I wanted most for him then – and still do now! – is for him to trust the voice inside of him that was calling him to do this thing.

The last thing I wanted to do was to undermine his sense of what’s right for him and supplant it with our sense of what’s right for him.

Luckily Griffin was strong enough to hold the vision for all of us – and all of the gloomy prognostications proved to be unfounded.

Thank goodness Griffin was strong enough to listen to his inner wisdom about what was best for him, to move forward in the face of great resistance, and even to support his elders as they struggled with their doubts about what was best for him.

Trusting Your IntuitionAs I’ve reflected on the lessons Griffin taught me in this process, I’ve realized that what I do most in my role as a coach is to help my clients excavate their inner wisdom.

I say excavate because, for must of us, by the time we’ve spent a decade or two as adults, layers of doubts and fears – and even the “best intentions” of others – have covered up our Inner Wisdom. Getting in touch with it again can require a pneumatic drill and a few sticks of dynamite.

But if you’re one of those people who needs to excavate your inner wisdom and trust your intuition, here’s what I suggest you do:

1. Trust that your inner wisdom is available to you, every moment of every day.

Ask it powerful questions, like “What do I really, really, really want?” (There’s magic in that third really.) Always see every challenge as an opportunity and ask your inner wisdom, “What is this here to teach me?” Your inner wisdom will respond.

2. Flood yourself with memories of the times you were connected to your inner wisdom.

Most people have had many times in their lives when they knew what to do and the urge to act as very strong. But in a lifetime, those times may seem few and far between, and when you’re under duress, you’re likely to forget them altogether.

So get in a habit of “flooding” yourself with those memories so you’re more likely to feel confident in your inner wisdom when you need it most.

You might have to go all the way back to childhood to find the memories – especially if you’ve been in the habit of deferring your inner wisdom to other people’s wishes for a long time. But I promise, if you look you will find them.

3. Stop thinking. Feel your way into your inner wisdom.

The question you want to ask is, “Will saying YES to this path bring me closer to my best life? Or will it take me further away?” Then you will FEEL your inner wisdom either light up (your heart soars) or diminish (your heart sinks) by the prospect of taking action.

4. Always choose your inner wisdom above all others.

As you can see from Griffin’s story, the people closest to him, who loved him and cared about him, and wanted the absolute best for him, wanted something very different for him than he wanted for himself. Fortunately he persevered, and his inner wisdom got to win the day.

You will also learn that only you can know what’s best for you, and you will enjoy the freedom and happiness that comes to you as a result of acting on it.

After all, that’s what Griffin found out. Despite his teachers’ fears about how it would affect him when he stopped being the head of the class, he now knows he did the right thing by listening to his inner wisdom.

When he came home the day he won the election he said, “I’m glad I can show everyone that I am still a leader – even in the 5th grade.”

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The Certain Way to Get Everything You Want

January 13, 2015

I finally feel like I’m back in my usual happy groove after 2 months of pretty intense holiday hullaballoo. As you can see from the photo, part of that meant getting some quality “Alone Time” with Doug. For anyone who missed my big news over the last month, I acquired a prestigious literary agent. We […]

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13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

January 6, 2015

That’s a photo of me and Griffin on the slopes over the holiday! (Sadly, Doug got hurt on the first day and I hadn’t thought to bring out my camera, so we didn’t get a photo showing the three of us on the slopes – but his injury happened on the last run and luckily […]

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My Top 10 of 2014 and How to Make 2015 Your Best Year Ever (+ a free gift!)

December 30, 2014

That’s a photo of me and Griffin enjoying a lovely dinner at Landmarc in Manhattan after my meeting with my new agent and a publisher at Simon and Schuster! Yes, that’s the really big news I’ve been holding back – in the week leading up to Christmas I was “signed” by a top literary agent […]

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How to find peace, strength (and even joy!) in hard times

December 23, 2014

We’re just past the Winter Solstice, on the last days of Hanukkah, and tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I hope you’ve been having a lovely holiday season so far!! Griffin and I have been doing our best to spread as much comfort and joy as possible this season. The photo to the right tells part of […]

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What’s so fascinating about you anyway? (open up and I’ll tell you!!)

December 16, 2014

That’s a photo of me, Doug and Griffin at Griffin’s Holiday Piano Recital last week! He played Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker March so beautifully. The best part was the JOY, pride and satisfaction he felt after he was done. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: there’s no better feeling in the world than the […]

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How Curiosity Can Solve Your Greatest Problems (+ I achieved another dream!)

December 9, 2014

I’m on the cover of the current issue of Aspire Magazine!! I still haven’t wrapped my brain around this momentous occasion! Yes, I created a very strong vision this time last year of what I wanted in my life by the end of this year. And yes, I took massive, determined action every day – […]

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How to Become Pain Body Proof (+ news of my book!)

December 2, 2014

That’s a photo of my family around the table before we dug into the Thanksgiving feast Doug and I prepared for the occasion. Usually we’re surrounded by a lot more of our family, but because of my dad’s health issues, we made our home the hub for a small but powerful celebration of our blessings […]

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the words you need most right now (+ two FREE gifts)

November 25, 2014

That’s a photo of Griffin and one of his BFF’s kicking off a 9-day break from school for their Thanksgiving vacation. It’s one of my great joys to see Griffin and his friends play for hours with their imaginations driving the fun. (My pic didn’t really catch it, but what you’re seeing is an epic […]

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