Stacey

Stacey, Griffin and Doug at piano recitalThat’s a photo of me, Doug and Griffin at Griffin’s Holiday Piano Recital last week!

He played Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker March so beautifully. The best part was the JOY, pride and satisfaction he felt after he was done.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: there’s no better feeling in the world than the one you get after you’ve worked long and hard to achieve a desired outcome.

I have BIG news of my own along those lines and I’m practically BURSTING to tell you, but I want to wait until it’s official – so stay tuned, okay?

In the meantime I want to share powerful insights I’ve learned from reading How the World Sees You by Sally Hogshead.

My long-time readers may remember that I featured her first book, Fascinate, a few years ago. She took her research from that book – which was mostly intended for business marketing purposes — and used it as a springboard to help people discover and communicate what is most fascinating about them.

She hooked me right away by talking about how our genetic material dictates that we are 99.9% like everyone else.

That means there is .1% that makes us completely unique. But that tiny percentage makes a BIG difference.

That .1% of uniqueness makes all the difference in whether you are living your best, most meaningful and satisfying life, or not.

So we need to focus on it with all our might.

Most people feel unhappy and unfulfilled because they’re trying to optimize the parts of themselves that make them more like others. (They’re trying to “fit in.”) But they would be much better off optimizing the parts of themselves that are different.

How the world sees youTo optimize these parts of yourself, you don’t need to change into a different person, you just need to highlight the aspects that make you unique.

But you don’t just need to “be yourself.” You need to be more yourself.

Sally Hogshead’s research helps me understand why my work has been so helpful to my clients – I can quickly intuit what their strengths are, help them “own” those strengths, and then help them communicate those strengths to others.

One great thing about Hogshead’s book is that she has created an assessment that identifies what’s unique and fascinating about YOU.

As it happens I learned of How the World Sees You from one of my mentors (Pam Slim) who interviewed Sally for a podcast. Amazingly, Sally offered the assessment FREE for everyone listening, and since it’s a publicly available podcast, I’m thrilled to share it with you.

Here are the deets:

  1. Go to: http://www.HowToFascinate.com/YOU
  2. Enter the code “INDISPENSABLE” (without quotes) along with your name, password, and email address. You’ll immediately receive your in-depth, custom report, which identifies your personality archetype.

To be clear: the process is not about changing who you are. It’s about truly seeing what’s unique and fascinating about you and then being able to communicate those aspects to the world in an engaging and compelling manner.

Once you take the assessment, you’ll be given your top two “advantages.” These advantages are paired to create your personality Archetype. There are 7 different advantages, so 49 different Archetypes.

(As it happens, I’m The Authentic, which means my primary advantage is Trust and my secondary is Passion. My “twin” (my two advantages flipped) is The Beloved.)

Once you get your Archetype, you also get a handful of words to describe your personality’s highest value. My value is described with the words nurturing, loyal, sincere, tenderhearted and comforting.

(When I shared the findings with my husband he was pretty blown away and said, “That’s right, anyone would feel that within about 10 seconds of meeting you.” And it’s what my clients thank me for time and time again.

It really is my great honor and joy to provide “Authentic” space for my clients — I call it creating a sacred container for their growth and transformation. )

Furthermore, Hogshead encourages you to create an “anthem.” It’s like a tag line for your personality that helps you communicate your highest value quickly and easily. She’ll give you an example for your type, and mine is “Nurturing Relationships.”

That’s fine, but I crafted it to be “Loving Truth Teller” because I strongly believe I honor people where they are while I also call them (PULL them, if I have to!) to their highest expressions of themselves.

I help them to find their purpose-driven work and tell more empowering stories so that they can become their best selves. And I never accept any version of a story that diminishes their personal power and responsibility for creating their best life.

I hope you will take the assessment and find out for yourself what’s fascinating about you. Because here’s what I know for sure: You have a unique part to play in healing and transformation of the world. You have a function only you can fulfill.

You have a message worth listening to and you have a responsibility to get your message out in the world. It’s your duty to make sure it’s heard.

Of course, if you feel you need help, that’s what I’m here for! You can sign up for your completely complimentary Discovery Session here: http://midwifeforyourlife.fullslate.com/

If you liked this post, I think you’ll enjoy the free weekly Special Delivery eZine. Just sign up here and it will be delivered to your inbox every Tuesday!

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Stacey on the cover of Aspire MagazineI’m on the cover of the current issue of Aspire Magazine!!

I still haven’t wrapped my brain around this momentous occasion!

Yes, I created a very strong vision this time last year of what I wanted in my life by the end of this year.

And yes, I took massive, determined action every day – such as creating powerful partnerships with amazing women like Linda Joy (the publisher of Aspire).

AND YES, I took some very big risks – like quitting my “secure” job and investing over $25,000 in myself and my business – with NO guarantees that they would work out as I intended.

And yet it STILL feels a little surreal to see my life unfolding as I envisioned – and even BETTER than I imagined!!

With all of the holiday hullaballoo, have you thought about who you’d like to be and how you’d like to feel and what you’d like to achieve by this time next year?

Even though I’m not a fan of New Year’s Resolutions, the New Year is still the perfect time to create a very bold vision of all that you want to be, do and have in the next year.

New Year’s or not, if you’re done waiting to live your best life, and you want to make big changes in your life, you need a high level of guidance, support and accountability.

As you may know I’m mentoring a select group of women to get their purpose-driven work out into the world in a big way… and I’m mentoring them in a way that’s in alignment with their deepest desires and true values.

Here’s the thing: I only have 3 spots left…so if reading this makes your heart race a little bit out of excitement and possibility, but also makes you catch your breath from uncertainty and doubt…that’s completely normal.

It means we should talk. And you can sign up for a completely complementary Discovery Session here: http://midwifeforyourlife.fullslate.com/

This conversation could be the catalyst for you changing your life and looking back next year and saying, “It all started there.” Let’s find out. :)

And if you’re not ready for big changes, this week’s feature article shares a small but powerful shift you can make in your thinking to help you have more clarity on what you really want and how to get it: in short, the answer is to use your curiosity. Read on to see what I mean.

CuriosityI posted the image to the right to Facebook along with a great quote from Linus Pauling, “Satisfaction of one’s curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life.”

I was intrigued by that sentiment, and I was pleased to see that it received a great response.

Above the quote I asked a question, “Are you willing to understand someone more than you are understood by someone?” because that sentiment, I know for a fact, has contributed greatly to my happiness.

It always resonates with my clients, too, and I often encourage them to be like investigative journalists whenever they feel frustrated or confused, especially when they are relating to someone else.

Research shows that people who describe themselves as intentionally curious report greater life satisfaction and a deeper sense of meaning. They’re also apt to push themselves to learn and do things differently to meet their goals.

Curious folks are also better problem solvers. Todd Kashdan, author of Curious? wrote, “If you cast about for diverse solutions, you’re less liable to go with the first thing you come up with.”

I think that’s good because if you focus solely on what you’re familiar with, you’ll miss the chance to hit on something truly original that is more likely to be a lasting solution.

It’s like Einstein said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same thinking that created it.”

Why, then, are we generally not so curious?

Kashdan, who has conducted research on this topic for over a decade, argues that curiosity and anxiety work together — one propelling us to explore, the other putting on the brakes so that we don’t take unwise risks.

The problem is that we have devalued curiosity, putting the bulk of our energy — as individuals, communities, nations — into anxiety avoidance. Kashdan argues that we’ve lost an important balance.

He also takes on the notion of happiness: A meaningful life, he argues, is one of passion and engagement.

The goal then is not necessarily to be happy, but to enter into daily life with curiosity, discover what moves and inspires you at a deep level and then pursue that passion with all your might.

Sound familiar? This is what I talk about ALL THE TIME.

But you’ll never find that sense of purpose without searching, which is where curiosity — and tolerance of a certain level of anxiety — comes in.

The good news, Kashdan argues, is that curiosity can be cultivated, and once you start approaching the world from a standpoint of inquisitiveness, the brain reinforces this behavior by releasing dopamine, a feel good hormone.

We’re actually hardwired to experience a rush of excitement when we engage in something novel and challenging. How cool is that?!

So whether you’re dealing with a difficult co-worker, navigating a tense family drama, or trying to find and LIVE your purpose, using curiosity will make your life much easier, and ultimately more pleasurable.

The next time you’re feeling frustrated or confused by anyone or anything, think of yourself as an investigative journalist bent on figuring out what your coworker, husband, mother or whoever is feeling and/or doing. And if it’s a life circumstance that’s troubling you, ask yourself, “What is this here to teach me?”

There really is something to learn in every conflict or undesirable circumstance, and it’s very much worth seeking out.

It’s essential to keep that in mind, because in a stressful situation, a thought like, “This shouldn’t be happening.” Or “I should already know this by now.” is only going to make it worse.

Trust me: if you’re having those thoughts, it means that it should be happening and you shouldn’t already know it by now.

It means that you have to go back to being an investigative journalist, and keep asking questions.

If you do, you will find the answer. But only after adopting some new thinking and probably waiting much longer than you’ll like.

But there’s some very good news in the meantime: Kashdan quotes a Gallup survey of 130,000 people from more than 130 nations. “The two factors that had the strongest influence on how much enjoyment a person experienced on a given day,” he notes, “were ‘being able to count on someone for help’ and ‘having learned something yesterday.’”

By pursuing new ways of looking at things and – most importantly – seeking to understand rather than be understood, you’ll be doing both. This will decrease your stress response and get your neurons firing in a good way!

P.S.

If you’d like to get a peek inside the new issue of Aspire Magazine today, go here >> http://bit.ly/Aspire_DecJan15

Along with my in-depth interview and article, Move from Apprentice to Master and Make Your Life a Masterpiece, you’ll discover empowering articles and columns from some of today’s leading luminaries including Boni Lonnsburry, Lisa Marie Rosati, Stacey Martino, Susun Weed, Laura Clark, Tama Stieves, Christine Hassler, Jane Garapick and many more.

If Aspire speaks to you the way it does to tens of thousands of women… I invite you to claim your FREE SUBSCRIPTION today which includes over 50 transformational free gifts from its Team Inspiration partners. www.SubscribetoAspire.com

If you liked this post, I think you’ll enjoy the free weekly Special Delivery eZine. Just sign up here and it will be delivered to your inbox every Tuesday!

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How to Become Pain Body Proof (+ news of my book!)

December 2, 2014

That’s a photo of my family around the table before we dug into the Thanksgiving feast Doug and I prepared for the occasion. Usually we’re surrounded by a lot more of our family, but because of my dad’s health issues, we made our home the hub for a small but powerful celebration of our blessings […]

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the words you need most right now (+ two FREE gifts)

November 25, 2014

That’s a photo of Griffin and one of his BFF’s kicking off a 9-day break from school for their Thanksgiving vacation. It’s one of my great joys to see Griffin and his friends play for hours with their imaginations driving the fun. (My pic didn’t really catch it, but what you’re seeing is an epic […]

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how to increase the number of positive events in your life (+ Free Gift for You!)

November 18, 2014

That’s a photo of me and my dear friends Mauri and Jen getting a jump on the holiday fun! Griffin, Doug and I hosted our 11th Annual Thanksgiving Party. This gathering is one of the ways we choose to celebrate the holidays with our “non-belly-button” family and it was delightful as always. Speaking of my […]

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why cancer is a great teacher (+ other lessons learned from truly undesirable circumstances)

November 11, 2014

That’s me with my dad. He just found out last week that he had a very invasive form of skin cancer – and had to have ALL of his right nostril PLUS a lot of adjacent facial tissue removed! His doctor is confident that he got all of the cancer, and he’s already started the […]

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How to surf fear (and stop squandering your one wild and precious life)

November 4, 2014

That’s me with my mentor, Fabienne Fredrickson, after our very special VIP Day together last week. I then spent the rest of the week working “on” my business within her year-long training program. It really was an epic week – in the last week alone I finished my chapter for Choosing Happiness, an anthology that […]

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This ONE Feeling Gets You on the Shortest Path to Your Dreams (+ My Mind Movie!)

October 28, 2014

“Strength implies remaining the subject of one’s life.” – Simone de Beauvoir The photo to the right shows a scene from Griffin’s Annual “Apple Pie Baking and Movie Making Play Date” at our home last week. I was careful to really savor his wonderful friendships right at this moment – filled with lots of light […]

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The Coolest Drug Doesn’t Require a Prescription (or fear of incarceration)

October 21, 2014

I just snapped this photo of Griffin and our dog, Spencer. They’re often inseparable. Is there anything better than the love between a boy and his dog? I’ve talked about the joy I experienced from “big” pleasures like swimming in the Ionian Sea or climbing the Eiffel Tower, but of course, it’s much more likely […]

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When you think it’s hopeless, it’s time to create a miracle. (powerful evidence inside!)

October 14, 2014

The photo to the right is me with my dear friend, Mary Cade, and her adorable daughter, Emeryn. You’ll find out more about them below, but first a little background for readers that are new to the Midwife for Your Life community. For many years I’ve asked family, friends, and dear readers to give to […]

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