About Stacey and Midwife for Your Life
When you think of your purpose, do you draw a blank? Do you feel like you’ve lost yourself (especially now that your kids have left home)?
Do you have a voice inside your head that says you should be happy with what you’ve got and who do you think you are for wanting more? Even if you did find your purpose, no one would listen or care anyway, right?
If so, then you need proven strategies to discover your purpose and create meaningful work, happiness and success!
The fastest way to get started is to read the interview below, sign up to receive The Purpose and Passion Guidebook and my Special Delivery eZine (links to sign up are below), and then come back often to read my blog.
I’ve designed everything to help you give birth to your BIG dreams.
(If you’re publishing something about me or just want to hear about me in the third person, my official bio is located at the bottom of the page. Thanks so much for your interest and I hope we connect soon!)
How long have you been doing what you do and how did you get to be a mentor to women, especially moms who feel they don’t know who they are anymore now that their kids have left home?
To answer this question, it’s probably best that I share with you some of the story that brought me to where I am today, mentoring women who feel lost and confused and want clarity on their dreams and traction on their goals.
In the spring of 2014 I left behind my 20-year career as a certified nurse-midwife – working in a prenatal clinic by day and catching babies in the hospital at night – to help women give birth to their BIG dreams.
I’ve been with my husband for over 20 years and we have a 9 year-old son. When I had my child and I looked at how I would do anything to ensure his happiness, that was when I really looked at my own life and my own happiness.
A defining moment in my life came early in 2011: I felt so lost. I felt like all these bad things were happening and I couldn’t understand why.
One night I woke up in a panic and I asked God, the Universe, whoever would listen, “Why is this happening?!”
The very clear answer I got was, “You’re not supposed to be here.”
I knew the voice didn’t mean “here” as in my bed. I knew it meant something much bigger and deeper.
Before I get into that more, let me back up a little further: A little over five years ago I decided to start my coaching business as a side gig. I still loved midwifery more than anything and at the time I couldn’t imagine giving up my hospital job. I loved caring for the women, and my family needed the salary and benefits the position provided.
And while I loved every minute that I helped women bring their babies into the world, I never really enjoyed all the bureaucratic aspects of my job. And as I “became my own boss” in my business, I bristled more and more with the expectations my employers had of me as an employee at the hospital.
But my husband is seriously underemployed. Steady income and health insurance are things I ALWAYS provided for my family. How would we be able to survive without my staff/salaried/benefitted position?
I knew that I didn’t want to stay on staff at the hospital, but I believed that our family needed the “security” that my job provided.
I thought my coaching business and writing career could support us, but I had no guarantees…which led me back to wondering why I couldn’t just be happy with my job at the hospital. It wasn’t that bad, was it??
Those stressful thoughts are what led to my breakdown back in February of 2011. I couldn’t believe I was in such a bad place – overwhelmed by doomsday scenarios and too scared to think straight.
But as I’ve talked about before, the breakdown is almost always followed by a breakthrough. It’s always darkest before the dawn, you know?
So here’s what happened. Along with all the dark fears, I’d also get a moment of clarity when I knew I should give up my staff position. BUT then the moment would pass and my heart would start racing again and I would be in tears thinking that I couldn’t possible leave.
And then I would get another flash of insight. It was like I was walking on a dark road and every once in a while a car would go by and its headlights would illuminate the path and show some sign, like a guidepost, and I would know again that I was on the right track.
But the insights and the clarity always seemed so fleeting. I would get them and almost immediately I’d be back in the fear and despair.
I couldn’t believe that I was in such an undesirable, untenable position. I couldn’t believe that I had been brought this far to fail. All I kept thinking was about what I didn’t want.
At some point in the depths of that despair, I heard a small voice inside that said, “What do you want?”
My answer was “I want both my husband and I to do work that’s completely aligned with our life purpose. I want to do work I love, and be paid handsomely. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know we can figure this out.”
Once I got clear about what I did want, I started to get all these ideas about how I could make it happen. (Of course, those are also the secrets I love to share with my clients!)
I learned from that experience that there is always a solution to meet everyone’s needs – but it may require really thinking outside of the box.
I learned that the same passion and focus I brought to my family, friends, community and job would help me achieve my big goals and dreams.
I came out of that experience with the firm conviction that anyone really can create the conditions for their own happiness and that’s why I created Midwife for Your Life – so that I could help other women (and some very cool men) give birth to a life they absolutely love.
What also separates me from other coaches or mentors is that I’ve created proven systems, The Multi-Passion Mama Mastery Program, The Heart Based Business Success System and The End Your Next 6 Months Strong Program that give my clients extremely specific, step-by-step processes for getting more clarity on their dreams and serious traction on their goals.
How do you know your systems works?
First of all, I use them myself: In the last five years I built a lucrative coaching practice from scratch, published a best-selling children’s book, and wrote 2 other books (and I’m in the process of writing a third!) – all while maintaining my job as a nurse-midwife and living joyfully with my husband and 9 year-old son.
I was able to quit my hospital job in the spring of 2014 to focus fully on my coaching business because I had built it to a level that could support my family.
I rarely feel overwhelmed. (And if I do, I know there’s nothing wrong – it just means that I need to take a nap, or take a long walk with my dog, or go see a movie.)
I’ve also used my system with my clients and they’ve had similar results — you can read their success stories here.
What are some typical issues your clients want to work on with you?
Here’s the thing: Studies show that happiness is dependent on feeling heard and valued for exactly who you are, having good relationships, and doing purpose-driven work – these are all within your control, but most people don’t believe that.
They think happiness is waiting for them somewhere “out there.” My clients are ready to poke holes in that thinking, but they also need support and encouragement to buck the dominant paradigm.
Most of my clients want to learn how to get out of their own way, to quell the voice that constantly says, “You can’t do it, no one will read/listen/care.”
They want to create a meaningful body of work (separate from their families).
Here’s another thing: All human beings thrive in an environment of novelty and challenge, but we’re also deeply uncomfortable by the prospect of change.
It’s no wonder most people feel overwhelmed by or afraid of their great big dreams.
I help my clients take the seemingly insurmountable goal and break it into smaller, manageable pieces. I offer guidance, encouragement, and accountability every step of the way.
How can people bring more fulfillment or joy to their lives RIGHT NOW?
By acknowledging all of the joy that is in their lives RIGHT NOW. Even if it’s something small like a child’s laugh, or the impossibly blue sky, or a hot cup of tea – look around and you’ll find something to appreciate.
It’s like Oprah said, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough”
What advice do you have for moms “in the trenches” — those whose lives revolve around their children?
Well, I’m one of those moms and here’s what I tell myself all the time: Never underestimate the power of a small chunk of time.
One of the things I loved from doing interviews for The Multi-Passion Mama Mastery Program is that I found that every one illustrated the value of devoting even small chunks of time to a project.
One of these stories came from American essayist Krista Bremer, who is an award-winning writer. She said when her children were young, before they were even in elementary school, she was often really frustrated because she felt like she wasn’t making any progress with her writing, and she really couldn’t establish a writing routine.
But she would take an hour wherever she could grab it and just jot down some thoughts. And she said, though she was often exasperated that nothing was happening, the reality was that those pockets of time added up incrementally and there was a momentum building for her writing.
So, I think that it’s really important when mothers feel frustrated by their lack of time that they just take what little time they have and devote it to whatever their passions are.
As Krista’s story illustrates – it really adds up. We are own worst enemies when we tell ourselves that we don’t have enough time, or what we’re doing isn’t good enough, and it never will be.
What if I don’t know what my purpose or passion is?
I think the better question is, “What if I do know?” And you do. I promise if you ask yourself, “What do I really, really, really want?” (I think there’s magic in that third really) every night before you go to bed and you set the intention of knowing, you will know very quickly.
Another great question is, “What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?” and then find some time, even if it’s only 15 minutes a day, to take determined action (concrete steps) in the direction of that desire.
You will also find many other strategies for finding your purpose and passion inside the inspiring and content-rich pages of The Purpose and Passion Guidebook: 6 Steps to Doing Good, Feeling Good and Achieving Your Dreams.
It shows you how to tap into your deepest desires, claim your true value and identify your soul’s work. You can get it FREE by clicking here.
As a woman with multiple passions, what’s your passion and deepest hope for your coaching programs?
My passion is absolutely to help women give birth to their BIG dreams.
It’s important to consider that your best life may not look exactly the way you envision it (so much of that seems to be influenced by comparisons to other people’s lives – when you really have no idea what those lives are really like).
But here’s the thing: Your core desires – to create meaningful work and feel valued for who you really are – are absolutely achievable.
One of my mottos is “Live imperfectly with great delight.” The goal isn’t to achieve “perfection.”
Instead, the idea is to string together many happy and satisfying moments: first by creating the conditions for them, then by reducing stress so that you can savor them, and finally by helping you remember them after they’ve happened.
(Have you noticed that women have a remarkable ability to forget their accomplishments? That keeps them feeling stuck and small – when they should feel courageous and able to do anything they set their minds to!)
It’s not “the arriving” at your goal that’s interesting – it’s who you become on the journey.
How can I sample your work to see if it’s right for me?
A great way to sample my work is by downloading the free Purpose and Passion Guidebook I mentioned above.
When you sign up to receive it you’ll also receive a subscription to my Special Delivery eZine, my weekly email newsletter.
It’s also free and in it I share stories and articles that are filled with tips, tools, and techniques to create an authentic and happy life.
And I’d love to share them with you. Again, you can access them here.
What if I want to work one-on-one with you, can I call you?
Yes, of course! If you’re interested, I’ve created a completely complimentary “Discover Your Purpose Strategy Session” that helps us know very quickly if we would be a good match for working together.
To find out more about the discovery session, and schedule yours, click here.
I can’t wait to see you succeed and I’d be honored to be the one to help you!
Stacey Curnow helps women find and live their purpose. She left behind a 20-year career as a nurse-midwife – helping women give birth to babies – to help you give birth to your BIG dreams.
She received her bachelor’s degree from Oberlin College, her nursing degree from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and her master’s degree in midwifery from Yale University.
She has been an enthusiastic student of positive psychology for years and applies it to her mentoring programs with great success.
She also wrote a best-selling children’s book, Ravenna. You can find out more or order it here.
Hundreds of her articles have also been published in print magazines and online.
She lives with her husband, young son, dog and a chicken.