Last week I had the great pleasure of hosting my dear friend from high school and her family for a visit. It was the perfect way to wrap up the summer.
Last week I also talked with a client who said she had gotten “nothing” done the whole month of August. I knew how she felt: I took August mostly “off.”
At the beginning of the month I had an idea for a brand-new program I wanted to create, but I had just completed creating all-new content for the Heart-Based Business Success Program, and I knew what I really wanted was to enjoy more lovely connections with my family and friends.
I’m so glad I did. And although I didn’t create that new program, I did decide to re-launch The Multi-Passion Mama Mastery Program. This program is my signature system, and it offers proven, extremely specific, step-by-step processes for getting more clarity on your dreams and serious traction on your goals.
It gives you all of the processes and systems I use with my private clients, plus real-time guidance and accountability, for a fraction of the cost of working with me privately.
One of the women who took the program last year doesn’t even have kids (though she is mom to some adorable puppies!). Still, she found that it offered her massive inspiration, motivation, guidance, and accountability. You can read her success story below.
I’d love for you to join me for my FREE preview call tomorrow (Wednesday, September 5th). You can find all the details here.
If you’re like my client — and me! — and you struggle only to end up feeling like you never get anything done, you’ll want to be on this call.
We’ll begin by addressing what every woman on the planet experiences, some (like me!) on an almost daily basis: the feeling that you never get enough done and everyone else is so much more together than you.
Are you surprised or saddened that I have such a negative feeling on an almost daily basis? Don’t be, because I’ve learned to manage it really well. And now I’m going to show you how.
Here’s the problem with feeling like a failure – it’s a mind trick. It’s this tangle of worry and judgment and impatience that generally doesn’t have a solid basis in reality. It’s a feeling, not a fact.
When someone says, “I never get anything done,” they mean a lot of things. A lot of vague things, generally. They may also say, “I didn’t get anything done today.” But what exactly didn’t get done? And what would have to get done to make it a satisfying day? Literally?
I usually hear a lot of crickets chirping when I ask those questions. Or, I’ll hear, “Well, I’m not doing what I really should be doing. And if I don’t, I’ll be screwed.”
The problem here is that there’s rarely a solid objective attached to these. If you’re caught up in vague language – words like “should” and “screwed,” you’re setting yourself up to be really unhappy, because your brain has nothing to latch on to so it can understand the situation or know what to hope for.
In other words it has no idea what you’re trying to achieve, or what you’re trying to avoid.
Here’s the good news: once you can define what you want to achieve and what you want to avoid, then you’ll have something to shoot for. And there’s even better news. Your brain loves to solve problems and will work on them when you’re doing other things – even while you sleep!
Scientists have found our brains create what’s called an open loop. An open loop locks up all our brain’s processing power trying to get resolution on something that’s not resolved. Open loops demand closure.
Here’s how you can get open loops to be your trusty workhorses: Basically, you create an open loop by doing one little thing to start it.
First you have to establish the outcome you want. For example, if you want to write a novel, it’s understandable that you’d find a big blank page pretty intimidating.
But if you did something like open up a document, write down the title of the first chapter, and then walk away, you would have an open loop.
Your brain would know on the surface that you were nowhere near done, but deeper down it would know that you’d started on this thing. Now it’s an open loop. As far as your brain is concerned, it’s not something you have to get started, it’s something you’re already doing.
Or if you have a sink full of dishes, you could just wash two of them and then walk away. There’s a part of your brain that will want to come back and do more dishes, because it’s saying “Don’t be silly. We’ve already starting washing dishes. Let’s get this finished already. I want to close this loop and get back to Facebook.”
Now, sometimes you’ll try this and it won’t seem to work. You’ll wash the two dishes and say “Well, that didn’t do the trick.” That will happen, and when it does, you just need to come back and take one more tiny action.
Experiment with it. Sometimes it takes three or four tiny actions before your brain really feels like it has an open loop.
There’s another thing that will really help: giving yourself credit for all the work you are actually doing. One of my favorite quotes is, “Nothing succeeds like success.”
Every time you get down on yourself for what you didn’t do, you need to come up with 3 real and specific examples of what you have done.
And don’t tell me you can’t do it because you haven’t done anything. I believe in you. Tell me in the blog comments what you’ve done so far today and I will give you a big high five.
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