This wasn’t the post I planned to write but since I can’t connect to the Internet in the traditional manner, I have had to regroup and write on my iPhone while simultaneously trying to figure out how exactly a network adaptor could disappear from my computer in the space of minutes.
I have a feeling it’s the kick in the pants the universe is sending me to get over myself. I get the message: it’s time to step out of the gray and get on with the business of everyday life Introspection is a good thing but when I overindulge in a negative way I’m sucked into a maw of sticky messy unfair thoughts about myself and the world around me.
I could feel the balance oh so slowly coming back, but the utter allure of giving in to negative thoughts was hard to resist. It felt like for every step forward I took four back. The scary part was I was beginning to like staying in the gray. And the weather here was working with that feeling.
It was time for the universe to intervene.
First, I started seeing OBX magnets everywhere. Honestly, I had stopped looking for them. But there they were, unexpectedly, and they made me smile. Then the Lovely Daughter called the other evening. She had her reasons but I saw the call as a reminder that we still are involved parents even if we don’t drop her off at school any more or volunteer in her classroom.
I had confided the gray mood to Becca who saw that as an opportunity to hand me heavier weights and sweat it out of me. An excellent step even if my love for her enthusiasm diminished in the face of manipulating a 45 lb. plate around the gym.
But her best input was her farewell yesterday: “Hey babe – it’s all good! Hakuna Matata!”
The last time I said that was 15 years ago and it just made me laugh then blow her a kiss. And brought me one step closer to balance.
Which brings me back to this evening and the frustration of trying to connect with a laptop that appears to be heading for it’s second major failure in 7 months. Instead of landing me back in the land of gray it galvanized me to write faster on a small keypad with my thumbs.
And when I hit send I have a feeling I will be back to regular form.
Laura Reeth lives in Raleigh, North Carolina with the man of her dreams. With kids off at college, she no longer plays the role of active, day-to-day parent, and has moved into the complex understanding-parent-of-nearly-adult-children role. The main difference is she gets more sleep now.